Why Is It So Hard To Talk About Sex?

If you think that you are in the minority here, I can assure you that you are definitely not! Sex, in a lot of households, is an unspoken topic of conversation. Even the most outgoing and extroverted of individuals experience difficulties discussing their sex life with their partner.

I am here to tell you that it doesn’t need to be this way. In fact, if you make some slight adjustments in your marriage or relationship, sex can be just as easy breezy to talk about as the weather or what your plans are for dinner.

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it can be done! It has been accomplished, quite a lot actually. With a few guidelines, some simple questions, and a drop or two of courage, things will get easier and a lot less awkward the more you engage in these types of conversations. To start things off, I recommend conversations pertaining to sex happen outside of the bedroom. Why? Well, the bedroom should be reserved to intimate and special time spent together. This type of sexual energy needs to stay in the bedroom. Find a neutral place, a place where you both feel comfortable. It could be on a walk, going for a drive, in the backyard, in the kitchen; wherever you chose is fine, just keep it out of the bedroom.

Start with simple questions that you are curious about. It could be any of the following or something completely different that you want to start with but keep it simple to start things off.

What is your favorite part of being intimate?

When is your optimal time to have sex?

What is your favorite position?

What is your best memory of sex?

How did you first learn about, “the birds & the bees?”

Was sex discussed in your home as you were growing up?

These are just a few to get you started, the list is endless of conversation starters to get things rolling. The more you talk about sex, the faster it becomes more a normal part of your day to day chats.

There are many reasons that we find it difficult to discuss this topic that has been even ‘taboo’ in some households. We may have grown up with parents that found it shameful to discuss. Maybe our parents have the mindset that sex was designed only to procreate. Maybe our religious or cultural beliefs influence the way we view the discussion of sex. Whatever the reason or reasons, we can evolve and we can develop a new perspective. Talking about sex and our sex lives is healthy and it is a game changer in relationships.

Making sex a regular topic of conversation in your relationship will not only increase the level of intimacy between you and your partner, it will enhance your sex life as well. Hello! When you are able to talk about your sex life with your spouse/partner, you feel more connected and close. When you feel connected, your sexual desire also increases. When your sexual desire increases, you tend to initiate more. When there are more advances made, the more you have sex. Can you see how this is a win-win?

If you feel stuck and need a little more guidance on how to rid yourself of the uneasiness of talking about sex in your marriage or relationship, I am happy to help.